saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
