Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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