Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
