I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
