dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm getting married
To pizza
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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