do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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