You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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