she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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