dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
