i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
