His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
