office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
