In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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