Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize