thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
