she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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