Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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