your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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