i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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