just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
