My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
another moral hangover. fuck.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
