Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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