accomplished twins. life is a go
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
