youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
