first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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