i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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