I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
