if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
