Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
