All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
