I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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