Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
