his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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