I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
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I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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