is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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