he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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