we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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