This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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