Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize