i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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