Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
