And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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