Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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