Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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