Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
