So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
