do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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