Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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