do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
