the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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