I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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