And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
