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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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