He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
