so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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