Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
