Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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