i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
