I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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